I've had Panera twice in the last three days. I've only had it three times in my whole life. Fun story.

my life is weird right now. not sure what to do with that. about a year ago things were good. it was the calm before the storm. i didn't like my job but i had one that paid more than minimum wage. my car had just been found and i was just getting to know some quality people at borders a lot better. then there was a really bad December that you all know the details of.

now things are good. i have a job (I don't love it but I don't hate it either)that pays me well. my car is for the most part intact outside of when i hit a wall a couple weeks ago. that sucked. i have good friends that i get to see fairly frequently and i like my roommates.

but i feel unsettled.

i know basically why. but...not really how to fix it. eliminating the reasons to my unsettledness would lead to full on sadness or severe disappointment. and i'm not even sure if it would be the right decision. so do i deal with the unsettled feeling until it passes (hopefully?) or do i take the plunge and wade my way through the sadness that might not even be necessary...but that would at least be definitive. or maybe there's a third option that would make everything better. although i don't think i can actually choose the 3rd option myself...that's not in my control. so i guess i would be hoping for the third option. but that's so passive...i guess it would be equivalent to dealing with it until it passes. gah.

i doubt this will make sense to anyone. that's why i don't talk about it. kellie, you can keep your vagueries, it's none of my business.