I wonder

Sometimes when I'm driving during the day, either to work or on my lunch break or whatever, I wonder what it's like to be in a different position. Today...that position was a pigeon. I was parking my car and I could see a pigeon sunning himeself on the top floor of the parking garage. He looked so content and I got jealous. How sad is that? I got jealous of a pigeon. But I mean really, he has no responsibilities, he can friggin' FLY, and he can travel anywhere he wants within reason. I was jealous. Sometimes when I'm on my lunch break I see construction workers or landscapers and I get jealous that they get to see the sun and aren't stuck at a desk. I don't doubt that I would hate it, but I just hate the monotony of my job. When I went to go to my audition it was uber depressing because it was the same bungalows and stage that we had used when I worked on a game show a few years ago. That was the MOST fun I've ever had on a job. I loved the people, I got catered lunch every day, and I made decent money. It was never boring because if I wasn't working with the game pieces, I was watching the show get taped. It was constantly changing. Then I was watching the casting department work with us on our audition and I was like man I bet that's fun...you meet new people every day and you aren't stuck at a desk for 9 hours. I just despise how difficult it is to get jobs working on actual shows. Unless you know someone you're screwed.

Once again I'm torn by the desire to love my job and my desire to get out of debt as quickly as possible. I wish I had the financial freedom to quit and just go looking for a job. This is an issue that continues to plague me, hence why I complain about it so frequently. I'm trying to be more frugal but it gets difficult when opportunities like Philadelphia come up and I don't want to miss out on something I'll regret later. Suddenly that $400 I was going to put into savings is now paying for my flight to Philly. Or all of those lunches I've been avoiding buying are now paying for my Magic Castle Halloween ticket. These are things that I WANT to do and that I know I will enjoy and remember. I don't want to be miserable, but I don't want to be broke either. My goal in life has no label other than to "be happy". To me, that includes my personal, professional, financial, and emotional lives. I don't really care what direction it takes me in, as long as I'm happy and not stressed out.

Anyway. I got a parking ticket at the groundlings last night too. When I go to class I always park on the same street. It's a quick right onto a side street and I slide right into a curbside spot on the right side of the street. Then you've got two hour parking 8am-12am. Sweet deal. Last night was crowded and I turn down my little side street and miraculously there is a spot directly across from where I usually pull in. I do a quick u turn and we hop along on our merry way. I popped out at intermission to see if they'd chalked my tires and instead found a delightful parking ticket from the city of los angeles. jerks. apparently the left side of the street is 2 hour parking from 8am-8pm, not 12am. I pulled in at about 7:50pm and had a ticket by 8:18. LAME. Bleh I know I should have double checked the sign but I saw the green two hour box and didn't bother to check that the ending times weren't the same.

Anyway. Borders tonight. Wonder how dead it will be.